The Passive Midwesterner
I rushed to get out of the office early, hoping to still make the 4:05 yoga class. With no more than filing on the schedule today, my boss had given me permission to leave a half hour earlier.
I rinsed out the coffee pot, straightened my desk and locked the door behind me, happy not to have to wait around till the 5:30 yoga class. I still needed to make a important stop at the post office, but after glancing at the clock, figured I could still make it to yoga, if a few minutes late. After finding my car in the parking ramp and swiping my card to get out, I was on my way to the post office in no time.
Once I pushed open the post office door, however, I realized it would take a miracle to make the 4:05 yoga. The line behind a counter of three very slow and very chatty postal workers stretched out in a long snake before me. Resolving to simply relax and take the 5:30 class, I sighed and waited.
Just then a woman in front of me turned around, gesturing to someone. She waved again, and another woman appeared next to her. It looked like they were together, on the same mission, so no one seemed to mind. The situation soon changed, however, after Lady #1 went up to the counter alone and Lady #2 remained in the line for the next available postal worker. I could hear mutterings behind me about "cutting in line." As Lady #2 advanced to the counter, the murmurings grew louder. I turned around to see a woman clearly sharing with a man in line how "rude it is to sneak up in line just because you see someone you know."
I sided completely with this perspective, also finding this to be dubious behavior by the two lady friends and in quite poor taste. But as I was tired and already resigned to the fact I was missing early yoga, I decided not to make an issue of it. Besides, the disgruntled woman behind me would surely speak out...or would she?
In Germany no one has qualms about speaking their mind and 'line cutting' is one of the deadliest sins possible, so such an event would certainly not have been ignored. But the "friendly Midwestern American" mentality of not stirring up trouble, and waiting until the last possible minute to voice an opinion if it could make him or her seem rude or mean, meant the disgruntled woman behind me yakked on an on to her neighbor, but didn't have the guts to simply confront the perpetrator. As I listened the babbling woman, ranting on about the indecency of it all, the words "JUST TELL HER TO HER FACE!" were on the tip of my tongue, but I decided against playing the mediator this time.
Usually I am the one to say something; to keep people in check when something is obviously disruptive to others, or to honk at the many terrible drivers we seem to have in NW Iowa. But today I felt I owed the passive Midwesterners to keep my mouth shut. After all, I had just faced a similar situation myself.
Just as I was driving to the post office, I accidentally drove in one of the confusing "do not enter" driveways going in and out of the parking lot. The little one-way path re-routed me back onto the busy street, where I was subsequently blocking a car from being able to pull in, thus blocking traffic on both sides.
As I sat there, not knowing if I should pull out and cause an accident with the other passing cars or continue to sit there and block cars from both sides, I mouthed a big "SORRY" to both sides and crept out cautiously, forcing cars to either slow down or drive around me as I eventually found the correct entrance. Despite the momentary chaos I had just managed to create, not a single person honked at me. No one even gave me a dirty look (or finger), even if they were muttering, "Just go, idiot" under their breath.
Passivity may be a thorn in the Midwesterner's side in some cases, but when it means being spared by them instead of being yelled at, knowing full well you deserve it, I suppose it isn't such a bad thing after all!
Note: I'm not talking about Chicago or any other big city in the Midwest. I don't know about 'line cutting,' but the drivers there certainly aren't as forgiving!
I rinsed out the coffee pot, straightened my desk and locked the door behind me, happy not to have to wait around till the 5:30 yoga class. I still needed to make a important stop at the post office, but after glancing at the clock, figured I could still make it to yoga, if a few minutes late. After finding my car in the parking ramp and swiping my card to get out, I was on my way to the post office in no time.
Once I pushed open the post office door, however, I realized it would take a miracle to make the 4:05 yoga. The line behind a counter of three very slow and very chatty postal workers stretched out in a long snake before me. Resolving to simply relax and take the 5:30 class, I sighed and waited.
Just then a woman in front of me turned around, gesturing to someone. She waved again, and another woman appeared next to her. It looked like they were together, on the same mission, so no one seemed to mind. The situation soon changed, however, after Lady #1 went up to the counter alone and Lady #2 remained in the line for the next available postal worker. I could hear mutterings behind me about "cutting in line." As Lady #2 advanced to the counter, the murmurings grew louder. I turned around to see a woman clearly sharing with a man in line how "rude it is to sneak up in line just because you see someone you know."
I sided completely with this perspective, also finding this to be dubious behavior by the two lady friends and in quite poor taste. But as I was tired and already resigned to the fact I was missing early yoga, I decided not to make an issue of it. Besides, the disgruntled woman behind me would surely speak out...or would she?
In Germany no one has qualms about speaking their mind and 'line cutting' is one of the deadliest sins possible, so such an event would certainly not have been ignored. But the "friendly Midwestern American" mentality of not stirring up trouble, and waiting until the last possible minute to voice an opinion if it could make him or her seem rude or mean, meant the disgruntled woman behind me yakked on an on to her neighbor, but didn't have the guts to simply confront the perpetrator. As I listened the babbling woman, ranting on about the indecency of it all, the words "JUST TELL HER TO HER FACE!" were on the tip of my tongue, but I decided against playing the mediator this time.
Usually I am the one to say something; to keep people in check when something is obviously disruptive to others, or to honk at the many terrible drivers we seem to have in NW Iowa. But today I felt I owed the passive Midwesterners to keep my mouth shut. After all, I had just faced a similar situation myself.
Just as I was driving to the post office, I accidentally drove in one of the confusing "do not enter" driveways going in and out of the parking lot. The little one-way path re-routed me back onto the busy street, where I was subsequently blocking a car from being able to pull in, thus blocking traffic on both sides.
As I sat there, not knowing if I should pull out and cause an accident with the other passing cars or continue to sit there and block cars from both sides, I mouthed a big "SORRY" to both sides and crept out cautiously, forcing cars to either slow down or drive around me as I eventually found the correct entrance. Despite the momentary chaos I had just managed to create, not a single person honked at me. No one even gave me a dirty look (or finger), even if they were muttering, "Just go, idiot" under their breath.
Passivity may be a thorn in the Midwesterner's side in some cases, but when it means being spared by them instead of being yelled at, knowing full well you deserve it, I suppose it isn't such a bad thing after all!
Note: I'm not talking about Chicago or any other big city in the Midwest. I don't know about 'line cutting,' but the drivers there certainly aren't as forgiving!
posted by Heidi at 9:42 PM
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