New Direction

Yesterday I was greeted in the little office I've been tearing apart and organizing by four men. One was the newly-appointed Executor of the Will of my late boss, Jeff. Instead of the executor being his ex-wife, as originally thought, it was decided that her father, Jeff's father-in-law, would take the responsibility. He and Jeff were very close and that's who Jeff and the kids were visiting before the accident occurred.

The father-in-law came in accompanied by three attorneys. One of them was a man I've been talking to regularly because he was appointed trustee of our client files. The other two men were attorneys from a law firm who are aiding the father-in-law in legal matters of the Estate.

I led the 4 men into the conference room. We sat around the table and discussed the current status of the situation. They were very appreciative of the work I've done around the office as well as with the ongoing distribution of files to clients. They decided that since no one else would be able to continue the work I'd started, I should stay on for another month. I was a little shocked to hear this, especially after I was originally told that yesterday would be my last day, and then later that I would be there another week. But I'm happy to keep working there and very glad to be maintaining an income. Note: I was finally paid yesterday for the couple weeks after Jeff's death. With the executor taking so long to be named, there was a risk of never seeing the money, or at least taking much longer!

Besides, the more time I have, the better, as this is a big job. While I've managed to make a large dent in the piles of papers and files and clear a lot out, there is still much to go through. My desk area with the filing cabinets is quite a zoo. But as I explained it to the men yesterday - it's "organized chaos." The piles of papers on the floor actually do have a meaning!

On Tuesday morning I got a call from the founding partner of a different law firm across the street, asking if I could pop over to talk to him. He knows my mom through work they do with her company, and she is their go-to person there and he just loves her. When he found out her daughter (me) was the secretary of the deceased lawyer and knew I'd be looking for a job (and also they had an opening) he told her to have me bring my resume over. So I went over to chat with him and then talked with their HR person. They told me they'd let me know in a few days what they decided, as there were other applicants.

Yesterday another position opened up downtown so I wrote a cover letter, tweaked my resume, and sent that over. Just as I had done that, the phone rang offering me a position with the first law firm. I was pleased to be offered a position (even includes health benefits) but can't help feeling a little hesitant. The salary isn't that high, not that I can complain with my little experience, and I'd be sitting in a cubicle with several other secretaries at this firm. I guess I got spoiled here with Jeff, being the only secretary/assistant and got my own private area to sit in. Also, in the new law firm, it's a strict 8-5 job (my job was 8:30-4:30 + lunch..and flexible at that) with only one week vacation the first year. It feels a little confining, but I know it's standard and I should be glad to have a position offered to me. Besides, it doesn't have to be forever. And lest I forget I was about to have to apply for a cleaning position a couple months ago!

But they have given me a few days to think it over. They will also let me work at my current job for 2-3 weeks longer, meaning I might not be able to stay the full month like the attorneys wanted, but will certainly be able to get a lot done, if not all, in that time.

Oh, and the position I've been playing all season (principal oboe) in the local symphony will finally have an audition for permanent placement. The audition is coming up in 3 days and it's only me and one other local oboist auditioning (the orchestra doesn't pay enough for anyone outside the area to come audition). If I don't get it even after playing principal oboe all season, I'll feel really terrible! It certainly wouldn't motivate me to take bigger auditions thereafter...

Our conductors have been positive about my playing so far, but in the last concert I made pretty fatal error in a solo with our main conductor. I had been watching the conductor for my tricky entrance and looked down and lost my place. I was able to sort of cover it and later the other woodwinds said it was barely noticeable, but I knew the conductor knew, and I was devastated. It was basically the first time I've ever messed up on a solo before in a concert and couldn't believe I had done it on that sensitive passage. But, interestingly enough, the conductor has chosen that exact excerpt for the audition, so I hope to prove I can play it under stress!

Also, I received another invitation from a German orchestra, going back to when I was applying for jobs when I lived there, up to over a year ago (slow?). This job is in Frankfurt. I e-mailed the personnel manager asking if I could send in a CD for a pre-first round. Not that I can afford to fly over for the actual audition, but at least if they heard me and said I might have a even a small chance, then it wouldn't be a total waste of money to fly over (if flying to Europe is ever a "waste").

The personnel manager e-mailed me back actually telling me it would be okay and I was shocked! But, now that I am allowed to do it, I can't get my recording to be good enough! It's so frustrating. So I don't even think I will be able to send a CD because if I can't send something perfect over (that's the problem with a recording - the standards are so high), I know they won't even consider me. And, at this point, the audition in Frankfurt is in 3 weeks, and I certainly can't get a last minute ticket to Europe even if they would consider me based on the CD. But it hasn't all be in vain because all this recording has helped me prepare for other auditions by listening to myself play and knowing what to do and not do!