The Mind of a Child
As I talked to my late boss' father- and mother-in-law yesterday when they stopped by the office to take care of more executive duties for the will, they filled me in on how Jeff's kids are reacting, post-accident.
Remember, Jeff was divorced and had all 4 kids in the car when they lost control and rolled, and finally hit a highway guard rail. The oldest daughter was the only one hospitalized but they're all fine now (she's still wearing a neck brace). Jeff had 2 sets of twins, ages 10 and 2 1/2, boy and girl of each set. It's heartbreaking to see how the kids are taking this in and understanding their loss in their own ways.
Apparently when the grandparents took the kids home with them last weekend, the little 2 1/2 year-old girl would start screaming after driving over even the slightest highway bump. She'd cry, "We fall down!". The grandma and older sister held her hand to help comfort her, but it is obvious that she was traumatized by the accident. Though her twin brother doesn't say much, he does similarly say "Daddy fall down get hurt".
In their young minds, this is how they relate to losing their father. I'm sure they will remember parts of this. I remember when I was in the hospital when I was almost three and remember crying when the nurse would come in to draw more blood. After that I would fear even the slightest sight of blood or the idea of getting a shot. Now I don't like shots but am okay with it and even the sight of blood, but even into my teens I would panic at the thought of getting a shot.
The 10-year-old girl is talking about the accident and her dad the most. She went through the most physical trauma and had the most attention because of being in the hospital, so maybe she "understood" the reality of it best, but she is obviously still affected by the accident. Jeff's doctor friend has been stepping in for Jeff and reaching out to the kids. He told me the other day that when he was driving the kids home from having dinner recently, the oldest daughter would say, "Slow down, you're driving too fast!" even when he was purposely driving slowly.
The 10-year-old boy is a really smart. I mean, so smart he took a college history course last summer and got the best grade of all the college students. He's been pretty quiet about the situation, apparently, so he started seeing a therapist a little. It's good that he's talking to someone trained. He's a polite, cute little guy and basically Jeff's mini-double. Jeff loved all his kids and told stories about them all, but there was definitely a strong father-son "best buds" bond between the oldest boy and him. The grandparents are most concerned for him since no one really knows what's going on in that overly intelligent mind of his. But luckily he and his twin sister will grow up with many fond memories of their father and will hopefully spread those to their two younger siblings.
Remember, Jeff was divorced and had all 4 kids in the car when they lost control and rolled, and finally hit a highway guard rail. The oldest daughter was the only one hospitalized but they're all fine now (she's still wearing a neck brace). Jeff had 2 sets of twins, ages 10 and 2 1/2, boy and girl of each set. It's heartbreaking to see how the kids are taking this in and understanding their loss in their own ways.
Apparently when the grandparents took the kids home with them last weekend, the little 2 1/2 year-old girl would start screaming after driving over even the slightest highway bump. She'd cry, "We fall down!". The grandma and older sister held her hand to help comfort her, but it is obvious that she was traumatized by the accident. Though her twin brother doesn't say much, he does similarly say "Daddy fall down get hurt".
In their young minds, this is how they relate to losing their father. I'm sure they will remember parts of this. I remember when I was in the hospital when I was almost three and remember crying when the nurse would come in to draw more blood. After that I would fear even the slightest sight of blood or the idea of getting a shot. Now I don't like shots but am okay with it and even the sight of blood, but even into my teens I would panic at the thought of getting a shot.
The 10-year-old girl is talking about the accident and her dad the most. She went through the most physical trauma and had the most attention because of being in the hospital, so maybe she "understood" the reality of it best, but she is obviously still affected by the accident. Jeff's doctor friend has been stepping in for Jeff and reaching out to the kids. He told me the other day that when he was driving the kids home from having dinner recently, the oldest daughter would say, "Slow down, you're driving too fast!" even when he was purposely driving slowly.
The 10-year-old boy is a really smart. I mean, so smart he took a college history course last summer and got the best grade of all the college students. He's been pretty quiet about the situation, apparently, so he started seeing a therapist a little. It's good that he's talking to someone trained. He's a polite, cute little guy and basically Jeff's mini-double. Jeff loved all his kids and told stories about them all, but there was definitely a strong father-son "best buds" bond between the oldest boy and him. The grandparents are most concerned for him since no one really knows what's going on in that overly intelligent mind of his. But luckily he and his twin sister will grow up with many fond memories of their father and will hopefully spread those to their two younger siblings.
posted by Heidi at 5:40 PM
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