Oh, the joys of learning a foreign language
Well, as luck would have it, I don't have to look for a new English student. This is because the previously mentioned Russian English student of mine has informed me she would like a lesson next week, and proceeded to tell me she could put me on the VIP list for a Russian party the following night at the club we went to last week. How did I ever get so lucky...
I might try the party, though. Up to this point, I haven't really been out that much in Berlin. Sure, there's the occasional cocktail night and the very seldom dance night, but for me things have been pretty tame and homey. Well, remembering one of the reasons why I wanted to come to Berlin in the first place, this is a good chance to take advantage of the nightlife scene. I just don't know if that involves a party hosted and visited primarily by Russians.
Today was a busy day, but the more I have on my plate, the more productive I am (to a certain degree, of course) because it gets me up and moving. And once I have to plan, make lists and organize my time I can get a lot done, and certainly a lot more than if I have the whole day free. That is the difference with this semester (actually taking some classes as opposed to just lessons and other related things). I also sent in an application for an orchestra academy position that's open here in Germany. Although the life of a poor (and by poor I mean sad and literally poor) musician is filled with many rejection letters, we stive forward, hoping for that big break...or small job, whatever comes first. So, we'll see what comes of this, if I even get an invitation to audition.
After teaching English to the little boy this afternoon, I had my bible study tonight. It's a small little group of 5, including the leader. But now that I'm in such a small group, I'm realizing how nice it is because you get to share your ideas and opinions a lot more. I started going to this bible study last semester somtime, so I am relatively new to it, but tonight there was a girl there for the first time. Turns out she is American, doing an exchange year here from California. Talking to her and hearing what she had to say about her "new life," albeit temporary, here in Germany, I had flashbacks to my junior year abroad in Freiburg, from the excitement of living in a foreign country to my broken, suffering German.
She did a good job, really, it's just when you're still learning German, it's really hard to say more than the usual: "My name is..., I study..., I come from...," etc. I know the feeling, because I was also a confused, tongue-tied American forced to learn the language full on. But after forcing myself to be brave and just speak it, as well as hours of grammar homework, it happened. Of course, I still make mistakes and get stumped sometimes, probably more that I'd like to admit, but the point is I can make myself clear, share my opinion and keep up with a group of people, sometimes even forgetting I'm speaking a foreign language.
I remember sitting with a group of Germans from my Freiburg orchestra on the train during our Russian orchestra trip. Every time they were talking about something I thought I could finally contribute to, I'd sit there, formulate exactly how I wanted to say it, get the courage....and...boom: subject change. And I certainly wasn't going to be the weird foreign girl that, after just awkwardly bringing back a subject up that was laid to rest 5 minutes ago, gets the polite nods and smiles from the others. So I ended up just sitting there a lot, wishing I could participate.
Luckily those days are mostly over, though every once in awhile there's a feeling of: can I just speak English, please?! Anyway, as I contributed to the conversation tonight at bible study and as she sat there, struggling to follow, I thought back of my early days in Germany and wonder: if I ever knew the road to feeling comfortable in German was such a long one, would I have ever started? Probably. I sometimes have to try something to prove to myself I can do it, like moving to Berlin alone, for example. Subways, trains, buses: I used to get freaked out by any kinds of public transportation. If I had that fear anymore, I'd be still walking home from bible study. Actually, I would have never made it there in the first place.
I just thought living in a big city for awhile was something I needed to try. I certainly like aspects of that, with something to do everyday and night, not that I take advantage of it, but I like knowing I could! I also love the Tiergarten, which is Berlin's Central Park. It's a huge area with many mystical paths, algae-filled ponds, bridges and open fields for sunning (naked, for Berlin's large gay community). It's perfect for a Sunday afternoon stroll, topped off with a Starbuck's coffee.
But I have realized by living in a big city that I certainly would never want to live in a big city, rather, a nice, quiet area near an easily accessible large city. I have really come to value peace and quiet and the serenity of nature on a new level. Luckily in my "new" apartment (after living in the dorms for the first 8 months) I have a lot of trees around and it's very quiet. But the noise and smell of the subway comes just one block away. While I don't intend to live here directly in the city, or any other large city (unless it's a really quiet, residential area) in the future, I am really glad I am able to live in Berlin, and I will definitely enjoy it while it lasts.
I might try the party, though. Up to this point, I haven't really been out that much in Berlin. Sure, there's the occasional cocktail night and the very seldom dance night, but for me things have been pretty tame and homey. Well, remembering one of the reasons why I wanted to come to Berlin in the first place, this is a good chance to take advantage of the nightlife scene. I just don't know if that involves a party hosted and visited primarily by Russians.
Today was a busy day, but the more I have on my plate, the more productive I am (to a certain degree, of course) because it gets me up and moving. And once I have to plan, make lists and organize my time I can get a lot done, and certainly a lot more than if I have the whole day free. That is the difference with this semester (actually taking some classes as opposed to just lessons and other related things). I also sent in an application for an orchestra academy position that's open here in Germany. Although the life of a poor (and by poor I mean sad and literally poor) musician is filled with many rejection letters, we stive forward, hoping for that big break...or small job, whatever comes first. So, we'll see what comes of this, if I even get an invitation to audition.
After teaching English to the little boy this afternoon, I had my bible study tonight. It's a small little group of 5, including the leader. But now that I'm in such a small group, I'm realizing how nice it is because you get to share your ideas and opinions a lot more. I started going to this bible study last semester somtime, so I am relatively new to it, but tonight there was a girl there for the first time. Turns out she is American, doing an exchange year here from California. Talking to her and hearing what she had to say about her "new life," albeit temporary, here in Germany, I had flashbacks to my junior year abroad in Freiburg, from the excitement of living in a foreign country to my broken, suffering German.
She did a good job, really, it's just when you're still learning German, it's really hard to say more than the usual: "My name is..., I study..., I come from...," etc. I know the feeling, because I was also a confused, tongue-tied American forced to learn the language full on. But after forcing myself to be brave and just speak it, as well as hours of grammar homework, it happened. Of course, I still make mistakes and get stumped sometimes, probably more that I'd like to admit, but the point is I can make myself clear, share my opinion and keep up with a group of people, sometimes even forgetting I'm speaking a foreign language.
I remember sitting with a group of Germans from my Freiburg orchestra on the train during our Russian orchestra trip. Every time they were talking about something I thought I could finally contribute to, I'd sit there, formulate exactly how I wanted to say it, get the courage....and...boom: subject change. And I certainly wasn't going to be the weird foreign girl that, after just awkwardly bringing back a subject up that was laid to rest 5 minutes ago, gets the polite nods and smiles from the others. So I ended up just sitting there a lot, wishing I could participate.
Luckily those days are mostly over, though every once in awhile there's a feeling of: can I just speak English, please?! Anyway, as I contributed to the conversation tonight at bible study and as she sat there, struggling to follow, I thought back of my early days in Germany and wonder: if I ever knew the road to feeling comfortable in German was such a long one, would I have ever started? Probably. I sometimes have to try something to prove to myself I can do it, like moving to Berlin alone, for example. Subways, trains, buses: I used to get freaked out by any kinds of public transportation. If I had that fear anymore, I'd be still walking home from bible study. Actually, I would have never made it there in the first place.
I just thought living in a big city for awhile was something I needed to try. I certainly like aspects of that, with something to do everyday and night, not that I take advantage of it, but I like knowing I could! I also love the Tiergarten, which is Berlin's Central Park. It's a huge area with many mystical paths, algae-filled ponds, bridges and open fields for sunning (naked, for Berlin's large gay community). It's perfect for a Sunday afternoon stroll, topped off with a Starbuck's coffee.
But I have realized by living in a big city that I certainly would never want to live in a big city, rather, a nice, quiet area near an easily accessible large city. I have really come to value peace and quiet and the serenity of nature on a new level. Luckily in my "new" apartment (after living in the dorms for the first 8 months) I have a lot of trees around and it's very quiet. But the noise and smell of the subway comes just one block away. While I don't intend to live here directly in the city, or any other large city (unless it's a really quiet, residential area) in the future, I am really glad I am able to live in Berlin, and I will definitely enjoy it while it lasts.
posted by Heidi at 4:07 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home